


Morning Commute Chat

by JackMcGarrett



Series: East Side Story [3]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Not Beta Read, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26523370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackMcGarrett/pseuds/JackMcGarrett
Summary: After his talk with Adam, he's made a decision.With that decision, a lot of old memories rose to the surface. On their commute to work, Eric shares some of those memories with Noelani.
Series: East Side Story [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928590
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Morning Commute Chat

Adam ended up giving him a ride home after all. He called Noelani the next morning from his landline after waking up late with an uncharged phone. Luck was somewhat on his side as he asked if she could give him a ride to work. She agreed and he made himself ready to be out the door by the time she arrived. He hoped she wouldn’t ask about it, but she did. 

“What happened to your car?” 

He could lie and make up some excuse about how getting to a crime scene caused his car to need to visit the shop. God knows it’s happened to all of their cars at one point or another. Especially if they weren’t an all four-wheel drive. They even worked on a case two days ago where they were joking about it. 

Eric hated lying though.

It’s caused him nothing but trouble in the past. At one point, a _very_ low point, it even made his mother cry. 

“It’s at a bar. I wasn’t sober enough to drive so…” He shrugged it off and tried to be nonchalant about it. “I’ll pick it up after work.”

She made a face at him. Though a true statement, it wasn’t very in character of Eric. Sure, she’s seen him drink at get-togethers and events. She knew Eric to be a social drinker and she couldn’t think of any reason why Eric would have been at a bar for. “Who’d you go with?” 

“No one. I...went alone.” He admitted. 

“Is...everything okay?” She asked carefully. 

Eric pondered on what to tell her. He didn’t talk too in-depth with Adam about his childhood. After getting his advice and more or less agreeing that seeing his father was what he needed to do, they just drank a few more beers before Adam gave him a ride home. Despite how emotionally tired he was, he couldn’t get to sleep. His mind spiraled down memory lane and he thought back to growing up in Jersey. 

Noelani was a good friend. He trusted her, so it wasn’t an issue with that. It was the whole deal with his dad. He really didn’t want anyone to know he’d be visiting until he’s dealt with it himself. 

What he hated most about this was how much it made him feel like a little kid. He had an overwhelming sensation that he should call his mom and tell her about it, if at the very least inform his uncle. But that was like running to the grown-ups to come to fix the problem because he couldn’t handle it. 

But he could! 

Or at least he should be able to. 

He wanted to be able to. 

“Eric?”

“Hm? Sorry. Zoned out…”

“Yeah. Big time. You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

He nodded. He did know that. So why was it so hard? 

“Guess I was just thinking about how far I’ve come, ya know?” 

“You mean from Jersey?” It wasn’t what she meant, they both knew it, but it was a good way to hopefully get to the topic at hand. 

“Sort of. In a way. If…” He sighed deeply as he sunk into the seat and pressed his head against the window. “I was throwing my life away back in Jersey. Getting into trouble that Uncle D don’t even know about. Things he’d be so disappointed to hear.” 

“Oh, I doubt that,” She said lightly. 

“No, I mean it. Ma sugar-coated how deep in trouble I was in. Jersey streets ain’t kind. Especially if you don’t live in the nice neighborhoods. Sure, when you’re born into it, you learn to grow up with it. Try to avoid it best you can. But life ain’t easy and sometimes you just fall into patterns. You become a statistic.” 

Even as they arrived and she parked in her usual spot, she didn’t make a move to stop this conversation. She turned to face him and asked, “Is this you telling me you were involved with gangs?” 

Eric laughed, but it wasn’t a dismissive laugh. It was a sad, dark humor sort of laugh as he nodded. “I got mixed up with the wrong crowd. Stopped going to school. Stop working legit jobs. I wasn’t taking _anything_ seriously. And there...there was also drugs.” 

“ _What_?” She demanded incredulously. 

Eric couldn’t look at her. Shame washed over him like a violent tidal wave. “Started off small. Weed at parties and stuff. Getting high seemed better than listening to my mom rant and lecture, so I’d be out with ‘friends’,” He used air quotations on that word because they weren’t really friends, “and we’d be at parties. I tried some... _harder_ stuff. I was on the track of getting addicted but during one party, the cops raided the place. I was so stoned...I didn’t get far. But I got lucky.” 

“He let you go?” 

“Not _that_ lucky.” He deadpanned as he dared look at her again. He sighed deeply as he continued his story. “It was someone who worked with Uncle D. Someone who saw him in action and knew how damn good a cop he was. Despite having been gone for some time when it happened, Uncle D’s reputation was _that_ strong that it kept me out of trouble. He took me straight to my mom’s place. Told her I might not be so lucky next time.” He swallowed thickly and blinked away some tears, as that shame became regret. He hated that he’d put his mother through all of that. “She made sure I was alright. When I sobered up I thought I’d get the longest lecture of my life but...I didn’t. I got the shortest. She said ‘I’ve never been more disappointed’.” And that included Eric’s father bailing on them. That...that’s what really hurt. Knowing that at that moment he was a bigger disappointment to his mother than his father. 

“You’d think those words wouldn’t be so bad. When there are crueler, rightfully angrier words she could have told me. But those hurt. For so long it’d been me and my ma...and it was that moment that I saw just how much has been on her. I knew I wasn’t...I wasn’t the best, but I never thought of myself as a lost cause. Until I saw all hope and faith disappear from my mother’s eyes. And still..that wasn’t enough. I was delusional. She had to send me out here, to my uncle for a last Hail Mary…” 

There was silence between them for a moment before Noelani told him, “But you’ve made it, Eric. You’re here, you’re clean, you’re making them proud.” 

Was he? 

“What brought this on?” Noelani asked quietly. 

He could tell her the truth. Honesty was the best policy…

But sometimes omission was a loophole to take advantage of. 

He opened the door and got out, forced a smile at her, and thanked her. “Thanks for the ride, Noelani.” 

“Eric!” She called after him after he closed the door and began to make his way to his labs. He stopped and looked back, “Do you...do you want me to take you to pick up your car after work?” 

“Thanks, but...I got it covered.” 

That one _might_ have been a lie. He’s not too sure yet if his impulsive nature will let him wait until after work to go and get his car and then go meet his father. Though Adam offered to go with him, he’s not sure he wants to drag him into things further. 

  
The _truth_ was...he was walking into chaos. Eric doubts he’ll thrive in it.


End file.
